I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
