you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
