If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
