I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
