I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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