it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
