im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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