are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
