Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You're my little dorito
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
