the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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