Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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