this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
