Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
