:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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