I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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