GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
