My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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