I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
