We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
This baby is an asshole
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize