Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
