theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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