can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
