Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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