we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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