I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
