She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Enjoy the penises
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
