Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
