dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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