I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
