How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
