So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
