Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
