Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
