love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
