There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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