we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
