He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
