I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
