Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
