It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
