I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
