the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
