I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
