Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
