I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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