Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
