To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
