I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
