I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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