I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
and she was petting her beer can
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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