yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I want to be your penis for a week.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
