you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
