dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
