can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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