I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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