You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
