So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
