how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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