It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
