just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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