im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
