my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize