She's JV to your varsity
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
