..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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