i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
