need another drink. this is the easiest way
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
