This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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