I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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