This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
