and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
